


Be not gone

by wastelandbabe



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crowley Needs a Hug (Good Omens), Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Ineffable Wives (Good Omens), Lesbian Omens, Nightmares, No Beta, Sharing a Bed, i use capitals in the text i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-11 10:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20544779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wastelandbabe/pseuds/wastelandbabe
Summary: another one of those fics where crowley dreams of the fire in the bookshop except that they are lesbians





	Be not gone

Hell couldn't compare to what Crowley was looking at.

She had been to Hell. Many times, in fact. It was different than what people usually pictured. You wouldn't walk straight into a pool of lava where the souls of the damned screamed in agony - that was a different department. It was always, above all, too crowded; you couldn't walk for too long without bumping your shoulders with another demon's. It was always suffocating. Too oppressive.

And yet, it didn't compare to this. It didn't ever get close to tormenting Crowley like this.

"Aziraphale! Aziraphale, where the Heaven are you, you idiot?"

Around her, everything was burning. No matter where she looked at, everything she saw was flames consuming every bit of the building. The smell of burning books filled the air she was breathing. She couldn't even begin to register the fact that Aziraphale would simply _hate_ to see this. Because, for starters, the angel was nowhere to be seen, and this fact brought her a desperation that burned her insides more than any book in that shop.

She walked around, her snake eyes scanning every little bit of that place. She didn't let it stop her, but she feared what she could find - fire could be lethal to angels, especially if it was Hellfire, and there was a big chance that it was. If they had figured out Aziraphale's involvement as well... Crowley didn't think she could ever forgive herself. She thought of Aziraphale's hesitation, the fear that drove them both apart for so long... _But if Hell finds out, they won't just be angry, they'll destroy you. _

"I can't find you! Aziraphale, for G- For Sa- Ah, for _somebody's_ sake, where are you?"

The truth hit her like an explosion. There was a literal explosion, and before she could do anything else, before she could even think of gathering strength to keep looking around, she lost balance. Her body hit the ground, but she didn't feel the impact. She felt something much worse.

"You've gone."

A scream full of agony escaped from her throat.

And then suddenly the suffocating atmosphere was replaced by a soft breeze. The burning ceiling above her head turned into a limpid blue sky, and the floor was suddenly a very fluffy grass.

"I must say, it's a perfect place you've found. Look at this!"

She looked to her side, finding Aziraphale sitting down on the grass around a picnic towel, wearing her usual coat and bowtie, looking unharmed and content like she did when she was about to eat sushi in her favourite place. Between the two of them, there was a basket filled with things. Crowley could see a bottle and something that looked like angel cake.

"Come here. Sit closer to me, will you?", Aziraphale tapped the spot next to her.

"Aziraphale... You're... You're okay..."

"Of course I'm okay. I'm better than okay, here with you", she gave her an affectionate smile. "Why do you have that look on your face, dear? Are_ you_ alright?"

"Where are we?"

"Hmm, good question. Where are we exactly? You only said it was a surprise. Quite sweet, if you ask me, to have a picnic date in a surprise destination. I always knew you had a romantic in you, darling."

Crowley could hear birds singing somewhere. The soft sunlight was a big contrast to the fire burning seconds ago in front of her eyes. It all felt peaceful.

"But... The bookshop... A moment ago, there was... It was all burning... You weren't..."

"I can assure you everything's alright with the bookshop. Now, why don't we try that lovely wine of mine? I've been saving it for a special occasion."

Aziraphale leaned in to open the basket. Still a bit dumbfounded, Crowley kept her eyes on Aziraphale, still trying to register what had happened and how it had happened. She saw the exact moment when the fire materialized against the angel's cheeks. The towell, the basket, the grass and the blue sky, all disappeared and turned into the flames that now licked Aziraphale's body.

Crowley found herself kneeling down, back in the infernal bookshop, holding the burning angel in her arms like a baby. Her pale blue eyes were still open, but vacant of expression. Despite the fire, somehow she felt too cold against Crowley's arms.

"Crowley..." she whispered faintly, to what Crowley felt it would be the last time.

"Angel, stay with me_", _she begged_. _"We'll figure it out, I promise.... We'll..."

Trying to think of something, she looked around and found an exact amount of nothing. There simply wasn't a way to reverse the effects of Hellfire. It killed and there was no return, quite like demons with holy water. But Crowley couldn't give up. Not now. Drag her out of here, you idiot. It was the first obvious thing she had to do. While still holding Aziraphale's body in her arms, she gathered the strength she had left and tried to drag them both out of there, only to find that her legs simply couldn't move.

"Crowley..."

In a desperate move, Crowley looked up. In other times, she would've hesitated. It wasn't like She ever gave any sign of listening.

"Please, not her. Take me instead, test every other human to destruction if You must. But not her." She looked down. It changed nothing. Aziraphale looked even closer to completely disintegrate. "_Please._"

"Crowley!"

The voice was louder this time. Crowley found gentle hands slightly shaking her shoulders. With a startle, she opened her eyes and immediately sat up in bed, finding a really concerned Aziraphale leaning close to look at her.

"Angel", she blurted with trembling lips.

"You were calling for me. Thought it would be best to wake you. You seemed to be struggling and... Oh, dear", her voice broke as she noticed the way Crowley was turning her face to hide the single tear rolling through her cheek. "Come here?"

Aziraphale opened her arms and Crowley didn't think twice before immediately shifting closer, letting herself be involved by the angel's warm embrace. She leaned into the Azirapahale as if the angel could shelter her from everything else in the world, holding onto her beige coat with trembling hands.

"Thought you were gone...", she choked.

"Just breath, dear... It's alright. You're safe."

It was really unfair that her demonic powers didn't include the ability of controlling tears. Crowley felt like a full idiot for breaking into sobs like a child because of a nightmare. Aziraphale held the trembling demon in her arms and delicately stroked her back and her arms, murmuring soothing words.

It was in times like this that Crowley was reminded that Aziraphale's embrace was her favourite place in the world, and that the angel gave the best hugs in the entire world. It wasn't like Crowley had hugged other people to compare, but she simply knew that for a fact. Aziraphale had been the one who invented the act of giving hugs, after all. 

"I tried to miracle you a good dream," the angel murmured, when Crowley seemed to have stopped trembling. "but I think I failed this time..."

"Sometimes they are simply too strong. 'S not your fault."

"Has this happened before, then?"

Crowley mentally cursed herself. _She wasn't supposed to know._

"Couple of times. Used to be rare."

"I wish you have told me of this. You know don't have to deal with these things alone, don't you?", she said. "Do you want to tell me what it was about?", her voice was a bit nervous, but she spoke reassuringly.

Crowley hesitated, unsure if she wanted to go through relieving it. However, before she realized, she was spilling out the words, stumbling into sobs and hisses as she told her about the dream.

"The fire in the bookshop", she said, sounding shattered. "Everything was burning, and I couldn't find you anywhere..."

"Oh, dear." Aziraphale pulled her even closer. "I'm so sorry."

"At least this time it wasn't real. When I came here and actually found everything on fire, it was real. And I thought I'd lost you. Do you realize that? I thought you were gone and-"

"Crowley..."

"...the last thing I had told you was 'I won't even think of you'. That would have been the last thing I told you, if you- And then later I had to step into that Hellfire... And it was your body I had to see there. I know, obviously, it was me wearing your body. That was the whole point of it, but still. The image of that... Your body being touched by Hellfire... It was just _wrong_...And now it keeps coming back, Angel...."

Aziraphale pulled away just a little bit so she could look straight into Crowley's golden eyes.

"Look at me. I'm right here, you see? And I'm not leaving you anytime soon", she said, gently wiping her tears away. "We managed to stop that whole dreadful business, and everything went back to normal. Even your Bentley turned back to normal. It turned out fine, didn't it? In the end, it was only old silly Shadwell who'd made a mistake."

"You should have let me end him when I had the chance", she mumbled.

"It wasn't worth it, dear girl", she said with a laugh.

"He tried to exorcise you."

"Alright, maybe a tiny bit worth it."

To Aziraphale's relief, that did make Crowley laugh a little.

"And then you don't believe me when I say you have a bit of bastard in you."

"Oh, shush."

She leaned in and kissed her very calmly and tenderly. Her lips felt warm and sweet, like cocoa.

"Frankly, you can't get rid of me that easily", she said. "And I promise you won't have to spend your nights alone from now own. I'll look after you."

It wasn't like the thought of having Aziraphale around while she slept was anything close to unpleasant. In fact, Crowley wanted that. But she also wanted not to be a burden. Aziraphale had better things to do than guarding her sleep.

"I don't think you should bother about the nightmares. They'll just keep coming back and you'll do what, miracle me a good dream every night?"

"Naturally. And every day, if they happen while you're taking a nap in the afternoon." To Crowley's surprise, she spoke as if it was as obvious as commenting the weather. "And if my miracles aren't strong enough to stop them, I'll be here to take care of you."

The laughter that came out of Crowley's throat was dry and sarcastic, almost bitter.

"'s rotten work."

"Not to me", Aziraphale said with a very serious look on her face. She tucked one of Crowley's red curls behind her ear. "Not if it's you."

"Ngk."

Crowley felt thankful for being on bed in that moment. If she wasn't, her legs would have probably turned to jelly.

"Now why don't you get some rest? I know you get all grumpy when you don't sleep", Aziraphale continued talking, absently running her fingers through Crowley's hair, moving it away from her face.

"Could you stay here with me?"

"Oh. I wouldn't dream of leaving, worry not", she said, snapping her fingers to turn out the lights.

Crowley rested her head on Aziraphale's shoulder, murmuring a little "thank you, Angel" as they nuzzled up under the covers. In response, Aziraphale wrapped her arms around her and kissed her forehead. It felt like a blessing.

"We were having a picnic", Crowley murmured when she was almost falling asleep.

"I'm sorry?"

"When you miracled the good dream. I dreamt of us having a picnic. You said something about a picnic once. In the sixtiesss, wasn't it?"

"I think I can recall that, yes. We can still have one if you want. Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's nice."

"It's a date, then. Now sleep, love."

In that night, Crowley didn't dream of picnics, or fires. It was actually one of those nights where one couldn't remember their dreams. She did remember, however, being held close by Aziraphale, because that was something she would never get used to. The nightmares would eventually return from time to time - Crowley never really learned how to completely get rid of them. But then again, she had an angel watching over for her.

**Author's Note:**

> The "rotten work" exchange is from that known play by orestes and pylades by Anne Carson (i think it's called iphigenia among the taurians), and the title is from a Queen song called Teo Torriate :)


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